Relationship Woes

Poor Poe. He was always so pessimistic and yet always so right
Poor Poe. He was always so pessimistic and yet always so right

I’ve recently come to the realization that my faith was different than I thought it was. This is not a bad thing, nor will I go into it in much detail. But the basic conclusion could be summed up in this way: I have faith in the ideals that are represented through belief in God.

Fundamentally, I believe that is what all Christians believe in, whether they would phrase it that way or not. As Christians, we are called to act out the kingdom of God on earth. Our standard of living is Christ’s standard and in many ways, we act not of this world. Our ultimate goal is (should be) heaven and if we follow the teachings of the faith, we create heaven in our lives.

One of the things that for me has been especially comforting as well as difficult to believe is in the nature of God’s love – its never-ending, never-failing, all encompassing nature that requires nothing of me other than to try and meet it a fraction of the way. I am not the kind of person who looks at the world and ever sees any form of selflessness. I believe that all people act in their own self interest – even me. But God challenges all of that. He is the exact opposite of what I have experienced in the world.

There’s just one problem – what do I do when nothing else is as good as that?

I’m not just wondering about other people. I have absolutely no expectation that other people should or would ever love unconditionally. But what about me? To what extent do I love like God does?

The only possible answer is not bloody well. I just hope that doesn’t mean I can’t turn it around and love a little more unconditionally. I firmly and truly believe that to love as much like God loves is the only way to make and preserve relationships with other people. If I’m going to have the deep, long-lasting relationship that I want to have, I can’t keep acting selfishly.

Love is the only thing worth trying for in this world. I don’t want to lose it from my own stupidity. And the only way I know how to try is to practice what I preach.


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