For someone who actually hates to sleep, I sleep a lot. I usually sleep about ten hours at a time, which is longer than experts say people my age should be sleeping. I’m the first to admit that I spend too much time in bed. The fact is that I spend too much time in bed just trying to go to sleep, not actually sleeping.
It is currently 6:30 am in Sydney, Australia, and I have been awake for an hour and a half. I fell asleep around… 2-2:30 am? After trying to go to sleep since 10 pm. All I can say is this is ridiculous. I’m happy to be awake to spend time with the Atheist Wife before she goes to work. I honestly cherish the morning times we get together with our coffee, our ABC Breakfast and two cats trying to steal our cereal.
I just wish it would happen after I’ve had a solid 8-10 hours of sleep instead of three.
Still, there’s something beautiful about being tired. I know that the adrenaline will kick in and make me alert enough to work. It’s a natural high and I get off on it to a certain extent. It’s easier to ignore distractions because my brain only has the energy to focus on one thing. After so much time having insomnia, I’m starting to enjoy it. The side-effects are the fun part.
Just to be clear, I am not condoning insomnia as a lifestyle choice. If you have a good sleep schedule, keep it! If you want to get high, go smoke weed or chug a Red Bull.* Meanwhile, I’ll sit over here with my sleeplessness and my struggle and envy you.
But I have to find something good about insomnia. It’s part of me and my life. I have to pretend to find the silver lining. I am no longer the terminally single, insomniac, smoking and drinking late into the night writer I used to be. That used to give me a certain air of ‘tortured genius’ mystique to get girls with. Now I’m a mostly-married father of two naughty cats who does things like actually pay my rent, no longer drinks or smokes and has no interest in ‘getting girls’ unless its a puppy or a human baby with my wife. In the ‘tortured artist’ line, the only thing I’ve got going for me is the insomnia.
Of course, I’m writing this on that same insomnia high I was just talking about, so you probably shouldn’t take any of it seriously. That’s another side-effect of insomnia. Sarcasm. Ain’t it beautiful?
*Don’t actually do these things unless 1) weed is legal where you are and 2) just don’t chug Red Bull. Red Bull is horrible for your body.