Atheist Wife: What’s Mala-chee?
Atheist Wife: Is that a person’s name?
Me: (confused) Yes…
Pastor: If you don’t believe in God, you have a thousand reasons to be discouraged.
Me: I also have chronic depression, so… that probably doesn’t help.
Pastor: Want me to teach you how to pray?
Atheist Wife: I can say whatever I want!
Atheist Wife: Why am I asking Jesus to help me? Isn’t he dead?
Pastor: Jesus, help me! (chuckle)
Atheist Wife: Oh, did God bring Jesus back up with him? Wouldn’t that mean he’s ghost Jesus?
Me: Ghost Jesus! (hums Batman theme song)
Pastor: Where are the friends when you are hurting?
Me: (pointing to Atheist Wife on the couch) Over there.
Atheist Wife: And Dinky!
We’re not funny, we’re just sarcastic. Also cats!