While Watching A Sermon With The Atheist Wife…

Atheist Wife: What’s Mala-chee?

Me: Malachi.

Atheist Wife: Is that a person’s name?

Me: (confused) Yes…


 

Pastor: If you don’t believe in God, you have a thousand reasons to be discouraged.

Me: I also have chronic depression, so… that probably doesn’t help.


 

Pastor: Want me to teach you how to pray?

Atheist Wife: I can say whatever I want!

Atheist Wife: Why am I asking Jesus to help me? Isn’t he dead?

Pastor: Jesus, help me! (chuckle)

Atheist Wife: Oh, did God bring Jesus back up with him? Wouldn’t that mean he’s ghost Jesus?

Me: Ghost Jesus! (hums Batman theme song)


 

Pastor: Where are the friends when you are hurting?

Me: (pointing to Atheist Wife on the couch) Over there.

Atheist Wife: And Dinky!

We’re not funny, we’re just sarcastic. Also cats!

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