Watching a Documentary on the Apocalypse With the Atheist Wife

Events in the book of Revelation sound like what’s happening today

Atheist Wife: “Well, i you make a hundred predictions, you’re bound to get a couple on the board.”


Me: “Do they only talk to experts who can sound panicked? Like, if they’re too calm, they don’t film them.

Atheist Wife: “You’ve got to be suitably panicked, babe.”


Plague was considered God’s wrath

Atheist Wife: “Gosh, he’s really angry then. Stop being so angry, Jebus!”


God allowed plague to happen as punishment or something like that

Atheist Wife: “He gets blamed for a lot, doesn’t he?”


Increasing natural disasters are God’s doing

Atheist Wife: “Some might say God; some might say climate change.”


Expert on disaster planning talking on TV

Atheist Wife: “I’m a little concerned that she’s in charge of disaster preparation. She seems a little high strung. I would want her to be calmer. Look at her! She’s losing her shit!”


The sun going dark as a sign of apocalypse

Me: “Forgot to pay the power bill, eh?”

Atheist Wife: (eye roll)


Something else is a sign of God’s wrath that people didn’t know was caused by natural processes

Atheist Wife: “Yeah, but now we have this thing called science.”


Volcano causing apocalypse

Atheist Wife: “It’s just what they talk about on Doomsday Preppers!”


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