Last week was my first week being a crossfitter. The fundamentals are done, I did my first WOD and now I’m heading into week 2. But being me, I’m spending some time this Sunday looking back at my week before I look forward, trying to find the areas I really need to work on and the obstacles that tripped me up. Before I can look forward, I need to see what I’m taking with me into the future.
You vs. You
A trainer I once spent some time with liked to say that working out is about “you versus you.” His point was that fitness and most of life is not a battle between you and other people or other things. It is about fighting against yourself.
Last week was a lot about that. Sure, there were some things I couldn’t help, like my partner being sick, work, Shark Week, etc.. But a lot of the problems I had last week stemmed from me, not something outside of me.
Really, my biggest obstacle to making myself better is the old me that is comfortable being exactly what I am – an overweight, unfit, unhealthy couch potato. And this isn’t going to change any time soon. A lot of the crossfit blogs I follow like to remind you with graphics and images that it doesn’t get any easier. You just get stronger. Well, I’m probably always going to like carbs over protein, sugar over not sugar and sitting around reading rather than running. But eventually I want my brain and my commitment to be stronger than my desire to not do healthy things.
It’s me versus myself. I’m always going to win this battle. The question is, which side am I on?
Crossfit is about being prepared for anything by training for everything. It’s a lot like life in that way. I’m not a very good all-rounder. I have specialties. I read. I am a critical thinker. I write. I do these things fast and well. I am not as good at other things.
Right now, I’m trying to get better at things I’ve never been really good at. Doing things in groups, physical activity, healthier eating, etc.. I feel very much at a disadvantage. These are not my specialties. Working on them makes me uncomfortable.
But it’s important to remember that I didn’t start out as a writer, reader and thinker. I learned these things. I got very good at them over a very long period of time. I cannot compare what I’m doing with crossfit to these things. I will only become an all-rounder by putting in the same amount of time and effort into crossfit and fitness that I have to writing and reading.
So what I’m going to work on next week?
Well, for starters I want to do more than I did this week. One WOD? I don’t think so! I want to do more. Ideally, I want to go every weekday. But that’s an ideal. It’s the goal I have, but as long as I do more than I did in Week 1, I will have succeeded.
Beyond fitness, I have some new goals. I recently signed a contract with my work that means I’m fully employed. While I’m still listed as a freelancer, I have permission now to write more. There are no limits on my quota. I want to write more now that I have this freedom. This week, I want to figure out how best to do that. I’ve already started that process a little bit. That’s why I haven’t posted as much on here. But this week, I need to figure out my work routine. Hopefully, that means more posts on the blog as well.
Finally, I have one mental goal. This is a tough one. I am sometimes easily discouraged. I want to change that. This week, I want to redefine my conception of failure. I feel like I failed because I didn’t do so well last week. But I didn’t fail. I took a first step and it was smaller than I thought it would be. Failure doesn’t mean not getting there. Failure is if I give up.
Failure connotes an end. A point at which there is nothing beyond it. But that’s not what this is about. Crossfit and my goals are about a continuum. They are about not stopping at any point. Literally, I can’t fail as long as I am still trying. That’s what I need to remember right now. I can’t fail.